Chronic illness and make-up is actually a slightly contentious topic. Yet instead of 'vanity', perhaps we should think more about it's use for confidence and self-care.
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Make-up as a contentious topic
Make-up can be a contentious topic. It can divide opinion between those who think ‘natural is best’ and so never pick up a lipstick, and those who feel a bit better – whether physically or mentally – with a little cosmetic help.
There are schemes that give make-up lessons and offer packages of make-up to people suffering with cancer. I don’t think many (if any) people would disagree with them. After all, who would have an issue with doing something so simple that makes women (or men) feel more confident, improves their self-esteem and offers a bit of light-hearted pampering?
However, I wonder whether there is a different view for people with chronic illnesses. A few years ago I was almost berated by a doctor for wearing make-up. Now I don’t wear bright or 'obvious' make-up, it is natural looking and I only wear it when I go out, never at home or just going to the supermarket or something like that. Yet, it was implied, make-up was a mask, and I was hiding my ‘true’ self by wearing it.
What is my 'true' self?
This begs the question of what my ‘true’ self actually is. My ‘true’ face is tired-looking from having POTS and fibromyalgia and sleep issues. It is a bit flushed due to having MCAS and, at times, a little spotty around the chin (probably due to hormones). I perpetually look as though I have two black eyes, such are the dark circles under my eyes.
It is this ‘true’ face that I must display all the time? Do I have to present myself as someone with health issues? Am I not allowed to blend into the crowd of largely 'healthy' people?
My answer is no. I think it is entirely wrong to tell someone how they should present themselves, and that they must, in effect, ‘look’ unwell. Most of the time I want to look like any other person. I want to ‘blend in’ to the background, not spend a day being told I look tired, or asked if I had a late night. Believe me, the last time I had a late night was due to forgetting to take a medication, not because I was out on the town!
Confidence and self-care
Make-up isn’t just about changing our appearance, although if you want to do so why shouldn’t you? It is also about confidence, feeling put together, self-esteem and self-care (if that is how you choose to practice it). There are a lot of people with chronic illness, myself including, that need some help with those issues at times.
Make-up is also about being creative. It is light-hearted and fun. It is about ‘me time’, and self-care. I enjoy putting on make-up as it is something I do for myself – not for any other person. Nobody should intervene in how I choose to present myself or that a bit of make-up makes me feel calm and relaxed when applying it.
Most of all, for me, make-up makes me feel like me. It is something I choose, that I decide and have fun with. It makes me feel like more than just another patient when I am at a hospital or the ‘sick person’ of the family or friendship group.
So I will keep wearing my largely natural-looking make-up. The concealer under my eyes is here to stay, as is the mascara and a bit of bronzer.
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Clothes and chronic illness: comfortable styles and symptom management
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Sheryl Chan says
Great post...it's crazy all the debates we have in the Chronic illness community and society on what's authentic or best or not. I say what makes you feel best and doesn't harm upu is best!
throughthefibrofog says
YES!! Totally agree, whatever makes a person feel good is best.
Chronic Mom says
Great topic. I don't often have the energy to deal with makeup, but I know so many people with chronic illness who really enjoy it. Like you said, it's an opportunity to be creative and have some fun.
throughthefibrofog says
I think that's the enjoyable aspect for me - just taking some time to be creative and have a bit of a play with colours etc. Although I always end up doing very natural make-up anyway!
Carrie says
I am a die-hard make-up fan and used to do make-up 20+ years ago. I have mostly stopped purchasing it because my best friend works for L'Oreal and Sephora and he keeps me stocked up, but also because I never go out. I don't bother at all unless I am working at home and need some for a video call. I do a natural face for infrequent lunch dates and I haven't been out at night in well over a year, but I'll do a full face then because it's fun and I love trying new ideas. It's there for if I want it. Can I also add that that Rimmel concealer is the bomb AND it's a perfect dupe for YSL illuminator? That is a must have item for me! (I love having access to Korean and Japanese brands here. They are very natural compared to Western ideas of make-up.)
throughthefibrofog says
Ah, now that's a good friend to have!! I rarely wear it at home either, but I like to do natural make-up when out and about.
And yes, I love that concealer - always have at least two of them in stock at home!